Some people find it difficult to accept love.
Even though we try our best, there are many times we fail to feel loved.
We live in a hustle culture, where work and money have become our primary focus. But we cannot dismiss the importance of romantic love in our lives, which helps nourish our soul. We find ourselves in a battle when it comes to maintaining a balance between our work and relationships. Even though we try our best and give 100 percent of our effort, many times we fail to feel loved.
There is a large section of people who seem to find it difficult to accept love. Are you one of them? Relationship coach Stephanie Rigg explained, on Instagram, signs that help you understand if you are one:
- Being in relationships where you are the giverThis isn’t limited to romantic relationships, it can be the case even in friendships, familial relationships and workplace dynamics. You might feel like they don’t reciprocate to your feelings, and don’t support you like you support them. It is important to be honest to ourselves about our past and about the part we play in disseminating certain relationship dynamics, if they show up continuously in our lives.
- You are hesitant to ask for help or support:You might find it extremely difficult to ask for help, because you inherently fear looking vulnerable, or worry what anyone would think of you. It’s possible that you might just be okay with receiving what someone is offering, even though it might not be what you really want.
- You experience guilt if someone accommodates you:On the odd occasion, where you do allow support to come to you, you battle with feelings of guilt and worry that you’re being a burden. If the tables were turned, you would have not given it a second thought to do the same thing for them.
- You can’t accept praise or compliments and tend to deflect:If you often respond to compliments by deflecting or minimising, and brushing them aside. Something about the praise makes you feel vulnerable. You feel unworthy of the compliment, and end up downplaying it.
- You feel awfully uncomfortable being the centre of attention:Do you twitch at the idea of throwing a grand birthday party for yourself? This can be because you struggle with receiving attention, or the idea of people celebrating you, and show up for you. Deep down, you may think that they don’t really want to be there for you.
If you find that some or all of these signs resonate with you, you should reflect on where it come from. For a lot of people, the inherent belief is that they are unworthy or undeserving of being loved, and fear of rejection, or being “too much”. These core beliefs make us feel like we need to be low maintenance and not ask for what we need to be desirable. Taking small steps towards regrouping and finding a balance can have positive effects on our overall well-being.
