Empowered by advancements in fertility and the progressive transformation of gender roles, gay dads around the world are a lesson in evolved parenthood. Who hasn’t adored the loving bond Mitch and Carn in Modern Farntly share with their daughter Lily? As opposed to te traditional, textbook meaning of parents as a heterosexual couple — a father and a mother — these rad dads inspire same-sex couples to fullit their parenthood dream. For Pride Month, on Fathers Day today. here are eight proud gay fathers who have stood up to judgement to normalise the idea of gay men raising a child.
SOUGATA BASU-MAYANK KALRA
Dads to two three-year-olds bom through IVF, Sougata (@the daddy lyfe) and Mayank (@ beingpapa.), tell us that their love has deepened into respect as they navigate the challenges of raising children in a household that blends their Punjabi and Bengali families. “The way we manage our home is beautiful.
We love and respect each other and share responsibilities more,” says Sougata. The challenge for the couple came when they decided to enrol their kids in school. Their determination to provide a nurturing environment and a non-discriminatory stance against gay parents has led them to the right preschool. “We’re treated no differently than other parents,* he adds.
ADITYA MADIRAJU-AMIT SHAH
It was a journey full of trials and uncertainties for the US-based Indian-origin couple, whose daughter Yana Shah Madiraju was bom in May 2023. “It’s financially draining and in the begin
ning, we didn’t even know if we could afford it, recalls Amit. The couple, whose traditional Indian wedding in 2019 went viral, shared in a recent Instagram video that they “planned” and “saved” for IVF for years. “Allow men to love more, to be more in touch with their feminine side. If more had permission to do so, people wouldn’t feel that women are the only nurturers,* the couple said in the video. When Yana was bom, instead of a traditional gender reveal, they opted for a name reveal, introducing the baby as a person. They routinely share their fatherhood chronicles on instagram (@adityamadiraju and @ thisisamitshah).
VIGNESH CHANDRASEKARAN-ANDREA CARBONI
From being stuck in the US during the pandemic to the issue of the citizenship of their daughter Meenakshi (3), hurdles haven’t stopped the Indian Italian couple from showing the world that gay dads can do it all — and that parenthood has nothing to do with sexuality. With outdated laws in their home country, New Zealand, ruling out adoption, they decided to choose a surrogate mother in the US. Their families’ lack of familiarity with same-sex couples with children also posed a challenge.
In a conversation with SBS Tamil, Vignesh shared that in the Tamil culture he was brought up in, fathers rarely get involved in |#e changes|the
their children go through during puberty, but he wants to change that. Meenakshi’s dads teach her Tamil as well as Italian so that she knows her roots. Their Instagram page (@dads.of meenakshi) offers a slice of their everyday life since August 2021.
ADITYA ADVANI AND MICHAEL TARR
After meeting at a nightclub in 1991, landscape architect Aditya Advani and photographer Michael farr married in a private ceremony in Delhi in 1993. At ages 49 and 46, they became parents to twins — Shiv and Amrita — through surrogacy. They always discussed having “two
fathers” openly with their children, using books about same-sex parents to normalise it. Advani, initially feeling sadness about not having children, explains, “We saw all our friends having kids. I’ve always wanted children.” Raising their kids in Indiaas a gay couple posed challenges, particularly with school admissions. “Raising kids in a family oriented society like India was the main idea,” Advani notes. The couple shares parenting responsibilities, defying corventional gender roles.